Moving Outward

As I sit at my computer, working on the next iteration of my software program, it hits me. "It" consists of the fundamental concept of what is and is not natural. 

Computers are not natural. Yet they are integral to every minute in my day, typing, staring, creating. 

It is the creating part that I like the most.  Creating things is the passion that drives me. It is what motivates me to sit through that which I do not enjoy, to get to do that which I enjoy. 

I enjoy creating.

But each year, the more unpleasant aspects of my life have become demanding of my attention and time.  Keeping up with the demands, has driven me physically to a point I can no longer manage. 

This is not me. This is not getting better. This is not manageable. 

Route correction is necessary.  So I analyze my life, going to the center and starting over. Not the proverbial "starting over"... rather the real one. The one that starts at the soul and moves outward.



Copyright 2014 Yvonne Ramage. 

material

We are all material in a spiritual world. How profound. How powerful. It is imperative to remember not to rely on our intellectual nature. We must balance and revere our spiritual side. To keep connected to the source. For it is the source that guides us.




Copyright 2014 Yvonne Ramage. 

Hearing the music

Listening to music.  There is a indie folk song, on the radio.  It is a catchy song, at least it caught my ear.   When I listen, I hear the pieces and parts of the song.  Chord changes, instrumentation, mixing,  pace and dynamics.  Guess it is years of playing in orchestras and ensembles that gave me, afforded me, taught me, this perspective.

And in the music, I can faintly hear my ambition saying, " I could be on the radio.  I could do that!  It would be easy."  In some instances, I actually think I could do it better.  I catch myself, and quickly self-clarify, the idea of better doesn't exist in comparison to others.     

Then I question, "Is my music pleasing to more people than the guy on the radio?"  My gut says "yes".  My fan feedback says, "yes".  Plus I just LOVE playing music.  Something inside me exudes through my pores when I play.... sing.   I need it.

What I feel is undeniable.  What I see in terms of support and feedback to continue, (ie: money, recognition, more yes'es-than-no's) is minimal.    Why am I listening to this guy on the radio, and this guy is not listening to me?     Confidence?  marketing skills?  Naivete...simply thinking that I could produce a CD, then it would magically sell across the nation, playing on the radio, then finally making enough money to quit your day job  and focus solely, rather soul-ly, on music.

As a young girl, I never dreamed of my wedding day, being married or even having a husband.  But I can remember every detail of my dream of hearing my song on the radio, for the first time.  Every detail.