So, is it a lie when .....

... when over 80 percent of it is loosely based in truth.
... when it ends with the words, "I love you so much Baby."
... when it doesn't seem to harm the person you use it on, directly.
... when more than five people agree it's the truth

Giving them a chance

I've come to the understanding that I am single because of me.
Not him. Not my parents. Not because of my ex-best-friend's neighbor. Me.

In looking at my perspective, I've seen myself settled into a very synical attitude. I assume all men lie. Yep. No doubt in my mind. They make up little lies to make themselves "think" they are in control. Stupid. Just stupid.

Stupid because I can SEE them lying. Clear as day. And because they can't face the ugly truth in themselves, they hide it. This then forces me to lie about it, which I see as simply living a facade-like life. I want to live. The good. The bad. I want to live it as God intended. It pisses me off my relationships restrict me. To the core, pisses me off.

Then I see the coward.   CLICK.  My light burning for him just went off.  There isn't any bigger turn off for me. The relation ship sinks. We attempt to mend it and "try harder", but it's really too late. I have never, ever fixed a sunken ship. Never.

And I wonder, is it me? Maybe they aren't lying, in a weird sort of way. Maybe, just maybe, they are telling the truth.... from their perspective.... how they see it.

Men are so non-verbal. And I have learned through the years men will SHOW you what they think and feel. They won't tell you. They "tell" you things they are trained to say, to get what they want. Men will say anything to get what they want, because it doesn't mean anything to them. Numb to what comes out of their mouths.


Next installment with be investigating how deep my callousness runs. >>

a smile

can't you smile, a visual perception
without having it be a deception
scheming becomes your joy
though it makes us all your toy.
Your little play things, controlling the minds and plans
yes, I see where you stand.

yelling, screaming, proud with delectations
only to ruin other's expectations

a smile is a wonderful feat
seen in your eyes as only defeat
using it against us, each and every one

but I believe it is I that have won.

the one

It's all a guessing game. Your rules. My ridiculous set of insecurities that keep me locked into thinking someday you might actually be the one. The One. Capital T. Capital O. As in, there is only ONE. Right?

WRONG. There are millions!!

Ode to Gregg

I saw a man today, as I was walking to the pizza parlor. Old, small, barely 5-foot tall with a lot of spunk. He was walking with this wife, she was oddly faceless and walking slower, much slower, than the man.

He spoke out to me with a chuckle, in the heaviest New Zealand accent I had heard since stepping off the plane, “Boy you are a big lady. Twenty one maybe. Heh heh.”

Realizing that I was the only one around, as well as the tallest, I turned and looked at his face. Billliance, rosy, firm, old, knowledgeable, and eager.

“Maybe not twenty one, but definitely ……”, muttering something that was more than indiscernible. “Eh, well then good eh’ lady.”, tipping his hat in my direction.

I smiled, laughed, wished him a good eh’ and was off, never once looking at his wife.

Joy, willingness, passion, eagerness, intrigue.

Letter to Jason

B.
Beautiful, butterfly, breed, bastard, bothersome, boston, booz, bloated, ballet, bouncing, blithe, buttons, bugle, beastly, bidding, bottom, before, balloons, bubbles, breezy, banter, backyard, billow, briquettes, boisterous, broad, blonde, backbone, basic, bland, bitter, beguiling, bewitching, blizzard, blaphemous, bleeding, bonded, blistering, brrrr, bright, bounding, blue, blessed, bend, ballast, balance

Living on the

Having done both, I can tell you, living on the road is a far cry from living on the street. In the english language street and road are two words for basically the same thing. But when it comes right down to "a place to stay", they couldn't be farther from each other.

The road is a lonely place, town to town, but filled with excitement. Meeting strangers, seeing the sights, eating different foods from different cultures.

The street is the easiest hard place known to man. It's easy. No responsibilities. Nobody who relies on you. Just you and the cold concrete beneath your feet. Sleeping can be difficult. But once you find that spot, your spot, that warm spot where you know your neighbors; it can make all the difference

More than ever

Now, more than ever, is the time for a positive attitude.

Exhaustion in their eyes

Walking down the streets,
looking left and right,
I see the exhaustion
in everybody's eyes.

Green with hope.
Blue with enthusiasm.
Brown from swallowing so much of our leader's crap.

Fed up. Fed up with a system that BANKS on societal idealism. Our system runs on the balance that people will do what is best for the group, before they do what is best for themselves. This idea in itself is not corrupt or incorrect. I believe it to the very CORE. But we went wrong when we allowed politicians and their consitutants to willy-nilly define the group.

Capitalism breeds money.
Money breeds greed.
Greed breeds isolation.
Isolation breeds smaller defined groups.
Smaller groups means less to "take care of".
Less to "take care of" means more for yourself.
More for yourself breeds Winter08
WAKE UP! BROADEN your world.
GAIN a larger perspective.
WE HAVE EVERYONE TO TAKE CARE OF!

"No society can surely be flourishing and happy when the greater part of the members are poor and miserable." John Adams 1723

Best Throw-back Lines

Here are a few of my "Throw-Back Lines".   It's called the throw-back line, because it is delivered moments after a strange man tries to pick you up.   One could say the opposite of a "Pick-Up Line", Best if smoothly delivered with a blend of quirky.

----------------
"honey. I've ditched far better men than you"

"You've got that super charming quality. And this quality, which would normally be considered "cute" to most women, is simply unattractive to me."